


Echoed Cries

by Alemeino



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Depression, Guilt, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Relationship Issues, kustard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 08:56:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15770811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alemeino/pseuds/Alemeino
Summary: Sans had tried. Hell had he always done his best to make sure Red was happy, make sure he got better. But hell could the bastard be so damn ungrateful. Always behaving like Sans wasn't enough. To hell with him, he can go fucking die if he wants to.





	Echoed Cries

It had happened again.

Again had they had gotten into an argument, again it was about the same topic, again did Sans come to see another one if Red's episodes. Only this time, he had broken their promise, the promise of putting an end to the self-harm, the promise of talking before blades.

And Sans wasn't having it.

"I can't believe you Red!," spat Sans, eyelights glaring into the other. "You made a fucking promise! You promised you wouldn't do this again, that you would come to me or someone before you did!"

"Well Ah'm sorry Ah didn't want tah bother ya..," replied Red, eyes glued on to the floor, unable to meet Sans'. "Didn't want tah burden ya with my pathetic issues."

If it were anytime before, where Sans had the better conscious of watching his mouth during times like this, the comment wouldn't have ticked him off. His fists clenched as his glare sharpened. "Will you stop it with that fucking bullshit!," he snapped. "How many more times are you going to repeat the same fucking song! That you don't wanna 'burden me' or be a 'weight upon me' god don't you have a better exuse?!"

Red didn't say anything, he knew Sans was right, knew what he said was a pathetic justification. But was there another truth? He didn't want Sans to get all worried and stressed because of him, because he couldn't handle this shit by himself. 'heh yeah you totally succeeded in that,' his mind spat.

"Queit, 'cause you know I'm right!," Sans continued. "Everyday I try. I try to make ya happy I try to help you heal I try to be there. But apperanlty, it doesn't work and you still inflict harm against yourself! Apperanlty I'm not enough because maybe if I was you wouldn't be in this damn state!"

Red managed to gather some courage, something to say back, to not make him feel anymore lower than he already was. "I'm sorry okay! But everytime Ah do somethin' like this you've been off gettin' drunk, drinkin' away yer stress! Ah've seen ya S-,Sans and Ah hated to. Yer more than enough, more than what Ah f-,f-,fuckin' deserve. And ah didn't wanna see ya off drunk because of me again, Ah didn't want ya tah get stressed cause Ah'm so d-,damn pathetic and weak tah handle m-,mah own pr-,problems." The pain in his chest worsen with every passing second, Red holding back the tears that threatened to pour down. He couldn't cry in front of Sans, wouldn't make the other feel even more worse when every word he spat was true. He deserved this, deserved to be hated, to have venomous words spat at him.

"Well I'm so sorry," quiped Sans mockingly, rolling his eyes. "I'm sorry my fucking boyfriend can't get over his stupid damn depression and no matter what I fucking do, it isn't enough! I'm sorry I am at least a bit viligant on the results of self harm and I use alcohol to cope because I have to live in constant fear of offending you! Well maybe I shouldn't have gone through all that when you repay me with this! Maybe I should have just spoken what I had thought since it turns out I'm not enough to make you happy, since ya think that I don't fucking care about you!"

Red winced, the vocal arrows hurting more than any insult he inflicted on himself, sharper than the blade he had used to add more cuts to his gallery of scars. He just wanted it to be over already, just wanted to stop causing Sans all this pain, just wanted to sleep and wake up dead. Sans would be happier like that right? He wouldn't have to deal with his bullshit, wouldn't have to be filling up on alcohol due to stress. He chuckled, though it came with choked sobs as he scratched at his wrists behind his back. Damn was he so pathetic.

Sans scoffed at the silence, even more at the choked sobs. "You know what, fuck it. I'm not dealing with your shit anymore you selfish asshole." He turned and slammed the door shut, it being the final hit to cause Red to crumble.

********

Red laid on the floor, curled up as he hugged his own shaking form and choked on his sobs. It happened, it finally did. The moment he had feared since they got together, that thought that gave him nightmares, the prediction he knew and always tried his best to avoid, despite him knowing it was inevitable.

It came to be.

A puddle of red translucent tears formed next to the weeping skeleton, hands moving from his shoulders down to his radius and ulna. He scratched at them, actually glad how his phalanges were sharp claws as they brought that stinging sensation. 

Despite him knowing it wouldn't last, it still hurt. It hurt because now he wouldn't be able to even speak to him the same way, never again hold Sans close and have the skeleton lay his head against his chest. Never would their pun wars have that same spark they always did, heck, maybe they would never laugh or share anything again. 

Not a maybe, they wouldn't ever.

"Why am ah crying," Red cried to himself. "Why am Ah sobbin' when ah never d-,d-,deserved him... When all ah d-,d-deserved was his h-,h-,hatred..."

What even was the point anymore? Sans wasn't coming back and if he was, it probably was just to move out or kick him out. Maybe it was better he left and didn't burden Sans with having to find someplace to live. Maybe he should just fucking end it so Sans didn't have to be bothered at all. 

The thought hadn't occurred to him in a while, his promise to Sans and for the sake of keeping his worries down prevented him from attempting it again. But now, what did it mattered? Not like Sans cared anymore, not like he would come looking for him, stopping him by giving Red that tearful expression of fear. That Sans would rush and hug him tightly, shocking even Red with how physically strong Sans could be as the skeleton tries his best to hold himself together and comfort him.

He chuckled, it coming hoarse and worn. Maybe this was for the best, Red cleansing his pathetic self from this world and Sans leaving him to find someone else to make him happier. 

Despite the still streaming tears, a smile came on Red's features. Sans wouldn't care anymore, he would be happy that the person who caused him all of this was dead. Relieved he bet too. 

"S-,s-,sorry ah f-,f-,failed ya Sans..," he softly whimpered.

********  
Sans gave a grunt as he stumbled out of Grillby's into the night air. He had been in there for what? One, two hours? He didn't care, all he knew was how foggy things looked and how he swayed with every step.

"Stupid Red, making me streesss *hic* and shiiit," slurred Sans as he made his way home. While he could teleport, doing so in his state could be dangerous. With how foggy his head was, who knew where he could land? Usually Grillby would give Red or Papyrus a call to come take him home but Sans begged Grillby not to call anyone. Last thing he needed was Papyrus getting all worried and asking him off what happened.

As for Red-

He thought back on the argument. Hell was Red so damn selfish. All Sans did was try and keep him happy and remind him he was loved and Red repayed him by cutting? He had every right to be upset, every right to yell at Red and scold him. Call him ungrateful, selfish, a stupid fucking liar, breaking his damn promise. He was such an idiot, keeping his mouth shut and stressing himself over what Red felt. 

"That oooughta teach *hic* that bastard," Sans slurred as he stumbled again. Stars he was so drunk. Maybe he should've told Grillby calling Papyrus would be fine, seeing as how a simple chat was better than barely keeping his balance. Back then Papyrus always took him home when he stayed at Grillby's late, even if it was rare. But that was before Red came into his life, before he was in a relationship, before he learned how wonderful it was to love someone and have them love you back just as much.

Sans stumbled to a stop, swaying back and forth as the words echoed in his head. Who was he kidding, if Red did care he wouldn't be so damn selfish and go breaking promises. Sans was always there and as always Red later on went on and on about how shitty his life was. Fucking ungrateful bastard, maybe he deserved to be left. Maybe he should go home and tell him he could go kill himself for all he cared!

Sans began laughing, tears forming in his eyes but he still laughed and laughed. Only stopped when he passed out.

********

Sans groaned, rubbing his throbbing head as he slowly got up. 'What happened,' he thought as he looked around, immediately knowing this wasn't his house. Odd. He tried remembering how he got here, yet all his memories from the previous night were blurry. Hearing someone approaching, Sans turned and saw who's house he was at, Grillby's.

After a morning greeting and Sans turning down the offer for breakfast, not really in the mood for consuming anything, he asked the bartender to fill him up on the events of last night. Grillby explained how Sans walked in fuming more than his own flames, how he complained how Red was ungrateful and selfish as he chugged down liquor. At the mention of Red, Sans' eyelights disappeared.

It came back to him, or well before his mind had been consumed by the effects of alcohol. The argument, the words he spat, how Red didn't even speak and when he did, it was only to agree with everything Sans said. He didn't mean them, he was just under stress! Did Red think he hated him? That it was over, that they would never even speak with each other? Knowing Red, he didn't need his verbal answer.

His bones rattled even more when Grillby told him how Red didn't answer both the door and his calls. Sans jumped off the couch, rushing to the door as beads of sweat formed on his head. He hoped Red's phone died and prayed he just slept through Grillby's knocks. He could thank the elemental later but he needed to make sure his boyfriend was alive, that he just cried himself to sleep, heck he wouldn't care if he cut again just that he was alive.

He teleported to their house, not wanting to spend a second more from knowing the truth. "RED?!," he yelled, suprising himself from how loud it came out. But at the lack of a response he pushed it off and ran upstairs, using his magic to slam the door open. "Red!," he cried as he went in, soul falling deeper. No Red. He felt his legs tremble, felt himself loose balance as his strength diminished. He was gone. The monster that had always brought a smile to his face was-

But despite the cold truth, Sans refused to give up. Red might still be alive he just had to find him! Tears rolling down Sans teleported to Waterfall, praying he would get there in time.

Once there he began running to the dump, passing by Echoflowers that replayed old conversations. He might have heard one or two replaying Red's voice, but he wanted the physical monster, the the one he could hug and talk with and just make him happy. The feeling of soggy socks was his signal to call put. "Red!?," his voice was hoarsefrom all the tears he was pushing back. "Red please a-,answer me! I'm s-,sorry just please come b-,back! Please Red..." He began sobbing as each step seemed to add more weight upon him, moving becoming more of a hassle. He lifted his gaze once deeper in, and his soul froze.

No Red.

Sans lost all his strenghts, any hidden ones refusing to surface as he collapsed on to the water. He had come too late, Red wasn't here, he wasn't at home, he was dead...

Sans hugged himself, praying Red would float up from the darkness and pick him up, wiping his tears as he gave him that toothy grin of his. He wished Red would be home, asking where the hell he had gone off to and Sans would lunge at him, hugging him tightly and cry into that mustard smelling jacket of his. But they were fantasies, incapable of becoming real with the things Sans had said.

"I'm s-,sorry Red...," he sobbed, words becoming harder to make with every tear that fell down. "I-,I,-I'm s-,s-,s-,sorry I'm s-,s-, sorry pl-,pl-,please oh pl-,pl-, please j-,j-,just-." 

Between the grief and guilt, he felt the anger that he had used on Red against himself. If he hadn't said anything, if he had kept his mouth shut Red would still be alive. If he had been more careful and stayed with him he wouldn't be missing from his life. But no, he had to let all his stress out on Red when he knew how much he was hurting, how broken and damaged he was. 

Laying there as the water socked through his clothing, the thought of rolling of the edge passed his mind. Maybe he would meet Red there.

********

After probably hours, Sans decided to start the unwanted treck back home. There was no changing the events anymore, and maybe this was his punishment for being such an asshole. Putting his hoodie on so those that passed by him wouldn't see the streaming tears, he trudged through the glowing grass. It seemed even walking was a burden, seeing as there was no home to go to. 

He didn't even have anything to remind him of Red. Didn't have that mustard smelling jacket of his or his soft crimson turtleneck. What did it matter anyways. He knew any remnant would do no justice for replacing the monster who had owned it. Not his touch, not his smile, not his voice.

_"Heh I really fucked up this time..."_

Sans turned, eyelights darting to the direction of the sound hopeful. But they were met with just an Echoflower, repeating the same words again. Sans sighed, approaching it as Red's voice filled his mind. He gently stroked the blue petals, for a moment imagining they were Red's cheekbones. While they weren't petal soft, he loved the way his fingers would bump into the cracks. It always made him giggle a bit.

_"Making Sans stressed like that"_

There was another, Sans got up and followed it, seeing how it was after the previous one. Heh, maybe he could hear the last things Red said before he died.

_"Heh he has every right to hate me."_

'I don't hate you Red I was just mad...,' Sans thought, refusing to say a word and loosing the last trace of Red he had left.

_"Tah leave me, probably fer the best."_

It wasn't, he never should've left. He should've stayed and comfort Red, make him feel loved, not more like the shit he thought of himself.

_"Probably getting drunk because of me... Ah jus' hope he don't-"_

While it was unfinished, Sans knew Red was hoping he didn't get hurt. Like he always did, always making sure Sans was okay.

_"All ah did was hurt 'im. He has every right the be mad..."_

That was a lie. Red made him happy, made him laugh, took the pain from him when he was down. He always made sure Sans was okay, always made sure he was safe. Sans had no right to have had spat out all that venom.

_"He's happier now that he doesn't have to deal with mah sh-"_

No he wasn't. He didn't care anymore he just wanted him back.

_"He'll be even more once he sees me gone."_

'No Red I'm not..,' Sans thought as tears began streaming again down his cheekbones. 'I'm not I never said I would Red...'

_"Good thing too. After all how selfish I acted, death is-"_

Whatever Red would've said was gone. But if it was that he deserved to be dead, he was wrong. It wasn't his fault he couldn't help it, he had just needed help. Sans should've been more understanding. 'You weren't the selfish one... I was..,' Sans thought.

_"Ah never deserved him anyways"_

'I never deserved you,' Sans thought

_"He never deserved tah have tah deal with mah shit"_

'You never deserved to be this shattered...'

_"Heh, Ah was expecting it tah happen sooner or later"_

_"Ah got my wish heh heh"_

Had Red really been thinking that way? No. Sans couldn't get mad even if he wanted to. This was just coming out of Red's self hatred, of his lack of self-esteem.

_"Yet it can't stop h-, hurting"_

The way his choked tone sounded hurt. How much damage had he done? Could it had been fixed if Red was still alive. Would have things ever been the same?

_"Heh, Ah'm selfish. Selfish fer wishing Sans had never left. S-"_

More lost words, but the first phrase was enough. 'You're not selfish Red. Why would you say such a thing just because you wanted me back... Just because you-' Sans started but his the pain in his rib cage grew the more he thought about it.

_"-selfish fer wanting him tah have never left."_

"Red you're not selfish you never were I'm sorry I'm so fucking sorry I said what I did okay I'm sorry I'm s-,,s-, sorry..." Sans cried out, falling to his knees as he hugged his form, crying, knowing he had just lost the last remnant of Red as his own voice echoed back to him. It didn't matter, if the only things recorded was Red's self hatred. All because of him, because ha hadn't been more patient, because he hadn't care when he saw how his venom made Red crumble.

"Sans?"

Sans paused as he heard the flowers call back his name. But how? With his scream anything Red had said should've been gone. 

Sans finally looked up, finally looked ahead and froze, as his eyelights were met with bright red ones.

Red.

He was alive.

Sans wasted no time and lunged towards the other skeleton, knocking them both down as he wrapped his hands tightly around Red. He cried into his jacket, refusing to let go for fear of the monster turning to dust. He tried to speak, but his words were drowned by choked sobs bursting through. 'He', alive! He's alive he's alive!' his mind repeated as he clung to the skeleton.

 

Red was a shocked at Sans' reaction. Why was Sans here? Why was he crying why was he hugging him? Shouldn't Sans hate him, should Sans even be here? But when he tried moving Sans off the skeleton refused, clinging onto him for dear life as he cried into his sweater. He hated seeing Sans in such a state, hated seeing so many tears on his face. For a moment, he deabted whether he should lift Sans of him, tell the skeleton his tears were a waste on him and retrieve the marrow covered blade that had flung off. Sighing, he decided it was best for later. Hoping, he just gently hugged back, unsure whether Sans wanted him to do so or not. 

 

At the responsive hug, Sans' soul left as he nuzzled deeper into Red, loving the feel of his alternative's arms wrapped around him. And while he desired to say something, anything, he could only cry into the soul he nearly lost. But one thing was for sure.

 

He was never ever letting go of Red again.

**Author's Note:**

> Back with more shithole fics! Ha hahahahaha not saying shit cuz fuck it! Peeps wanna get more recent updates from my bullshit go on to my Tumblr. Not that it matters since all i write is trash ha haha!


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